Terrible twos much?

I wish there were hidden cameras in our house because I witnessed the devil take form in my daughter tonight.

It all started when Bryan started her bedtime routine. Potty, wash hands, brush teeth, diaper, PJS and then I take over and put her to bed. He got as far as potty...she put one little rabbit turd in the toilet and wanted 2 peanut M&M's for it. Bryan has been having to go into work and because it took so long for her to work that little pellet out of her body, it was time for him to leave. So he gave her her 2 "m's" and she sat on the couch watching Wubbzy to eat them.

As soon as she was finished (and trust me, she ate them reeeeeallllly slow) I told her it was time to wash her hands and brush her teeth. I turned off TV and we walked very calmly into the bathroom. Normally she is whining the whole way so I knew this was a calm before the storm...little did I know how bad this was really going to be.

I got her step stool ready for her to wash her and and she whines "I haffa potty". I was an EXPERT staller as a kid so I knew this was just a way for her to buy time. I told her she had 1 minute on the potty and plopped her down. She just sat there and stared at me like "I wonder how much I can get away with tonight?".

After a minute I tried to pick her up and she started screaming at the top of her lungs "I HAFFA POOOOOOOOOP EASTER BUNNY BOOOOOOOK". The easter bunny book is her go to poop book, she can't go without it. I told her no, that it was time for bed and that she didn't have to poop. I think picked her up and at first, her body went totally limp...I knew I was in for it.

As soon as her feet hit the bathmat she started flailing around like a raging bull. She was screaming so loud and her voice was so gruff that I had to hold back a laugh because I've never seen her so ticked off in her life. She looked at me like she's never looked at me, I think my child realized what hate is tonight.

I then decided that she was going to get hurt if I tried to put her diaper on in the bathroom so I picked her up to carry her into her bedroom. She decided to throw her arms up so I couldn't get a grip so I literally carried her down the hall by her ribs and knees (trying to kick me the entire time). We get into her room and I lay her down only for her to roll from side to side...from her dresser to her window all while I'm trying to get a diaper on her. I can now confidently say that I could EASILY wrestle an alligator, with 1 arm.

Now, up until that point I am secretly laughing in my head. I can't help it...she was so ticked and she didn't know what to do with herself...it was funny. Now I am ticked, and no one is here to help. So what do we do? Time out.

I take her to time out with NO pants/diaper/underwear on and sit her on the bench. She immediately jumps up and runs around the dining room like the Tasmanian devil. I couldn't see my daughter...just streaks of a pink shirt and a naked butt. But I could hear her...OH could I hear her...SHRILL screaming.

What do I do? Call Bryan crying telling him to get home because we are both about to lose it. He tells me he can't and so I tell him I'm making him listen to all this on speaker. He hangs up after a minute and I throw my phone in the hallway and put my face in my hands. What. do. I. DO?!

So, I grab Layla (not gently) and tell her to sit in her room until she calms down. She sits in the middle of her room trying to catch her breath. Her face turns from bright red/purple to a shade of pink...that's when I decided to go back in.

I make her lay down as I tell her how HORRIBLE she's being. She starts sobbing again but I honestly don't care. I'm hungry, tired and I've had enough. I then make her sit on her bed, grab her toothbrush from the bathroom and brush her teeth on her bed as she's screaming through a WIDE OPEN mouth. Her teeth have never been so clean.

I tell her to lay down (again, not nicely), cover her up, and turn off the lights. Normally she gets a book...I decided she didn't deserve one tonight and then I get teary again and start feeling like a terrible Mother. I get a flash back of the hatred in her eyes when she looked at me in the bathroom and I suddenly don't care, she already hates me anyway.

So I sit on her bed until she calms down, lean over to look her in the eye and say "You were not nice to Mommy tonight". And all by herself she says "I sorry" and cries. My heart literally melted...and all I could say was "me too".

So we said our prayers. I pray for her and when I get to "I'm thankful for..." I let her finish. She choked a "Mommy and Daddy, Oscar and Moose, Baby Button and Easter Bunny Book" out and I'm obviously bawling like a stupid little baby right with her. We finish up, say our "I love yous" and I left to go sit on the couch and cry until Bryan got home.

Being a Mom is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. This was probably the worst night I've ever had to deal with and I know this is just the beginning of the "I hate yous" and the screaming and kicking. But hearing her say "I sorry" and still telling God she was thankful for me even after ALL this was the sweetest and most powerful confirmation that there is nothing like the love between a parent and child.

Now it is time for a turkey, cheese, mayo, mustand and Lays chip sandwich...because I deserve it after this. I do not get paid enough for this kind of harassment. :)